5. Let someone throw you a shower. Even if you don’t know exactly the age and gender of the child you’ll be adopting, a shower is practically a rite of passage for expectant moms and shouldn’t be denied them just because they happen to be adopting an 8 year old. If you know the size and gender of your child-to-be, a traditional shower will work just fine. If you don’t, the shower can be limited to toys, gift certificates, gifts to help pamper mom, “coupons” a la “This coupon good for one free night of babysitting,” etc.

6. Start a scrapbook/lifebook. First my disclaimer: I’ll admit, I’m not a huge fan of scrapbooking, but I do have a great collection of adoption mementos and photos that I’ve set aside for the future, and my gathering of these things began before our children even joined us. I have a copy of the “Magic Letter” we sent to our families when we announced our first adoption, a fortune cookie fortune promising good news from a far off land, photos of our signed adoption contracts (the “conception,” as we call them), a photo of the FedEx man delivering our first referral, cards sent by friends and family containing well wishes, and items I made and shopped for while we waited.

If you’re more of a scrapbooker than I am, you can go hog wild with scrapping every detail of the wait. Many scrapbook stores offer adoption-specific scrapbook supplies, and online retailers of adoption products offer beautiful “life books” which are a nice substitute for a traditional baby book. You can also learn about how to make your own lifebooks with the help of books like "Adoption Lifebook: A Bridge to Your Child's Beginnings," by Cindy Probst or "LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child," by Beth O'Malley.

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