
As I’ve mulled over the ways I can handle this, I’ve sought help from several sources.
First, I turned to friends with multiracial families. Some offered advice, and some merely offered their sympathies, but all offered the comfort that comes from interacting with those who’ve endured the same sorts of trials.
Second, I turned to the scriptures. Even though I know that my sweet girl is a beloved daughter of God, and equal and deserving and precious in His sight, it is helpful for me to see this Truth in writing as I read the words of the Lord:
Acts 10:34-35 says “…God is no respecter of persons: But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him."
In Acts 17:26, Paul told the Athenians that God “hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth.”
2 Nephi 26:33 tells us “all are alike unto God.”
In Matthew 22:39, Jesus says, "...love your neighbor as yourself.”
And then there is the story of Good Samaritan, found in Luke 10.
Collectively, these passages paint a picture of a fair and just God who loves all of His children equally, and teach us that He wants us to do the same. I hope that my children will take comfort in these words in the times ahead when the world will try to paint a different picture.
For my third source of support and advice, I turned to The Anti-Defamation League. They published a great book called “Hate Hurts,” and I’ve found it invaluable reading as I prepare myself to handle the racism my family and children will invariably encounter. Also helpful is the ADL’s
website , which offers specific advice on talking to children about racism. I think it's particularly helpful for caucasian adoptive parents who don't have the life experience to draw on in helping their children of color cope with racism. Here's a sampling of advice:
"I don't like (name of group) people."
Such a comment needs to be handled carefully. It is important that you address such comments without making your children become defensive. With young children, the tone of the discussion should be one of exploring their thinking. A discussion might go as follows:
"You sound as if you know all the people who are (name of group), and that you don't like any of them. You can only like or dislike people you know. If you don't know someone, you can't have a good reason for liking or not liking them. There are children you may not like to play with, but their skin color (religion, accent, appearance, size, etc.) should have nothing to do with it." Discuss with your children the character traits they look for in their friends, such as kindness, honesty, etc.
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