Deciding to adopt our daughter with albinism was a little more difficult. We prayed about it for a good month or so before we both felt on the same page about it, and in hindsight, I think it was part of the “trial of our faith” process that we would face once we met her on a visit to Haiti. As incomprehensible as it seems to me now, I was so afraid of the delays and problems that I saw with her that I began to wonder whether her adoption was really the right thing for us after all. But even my lack of faith didn’t stop our Heavenly Father from letting us know that this sweet little person was to be our daughter. The blessing that came through my husband that day removed the doubts and fears I felt and helped me get a tiny glimpse of eternity. She was our daughter, too, and God helped me to know it.

Adoption stories everywhere are filled with similar sentiments. People often comment that they felt “led” or even “called” to adoption, and that God ensured that they found the children he intended them to have. The Chinese “red thread” legend that the gods tie an invisible red string around the ankles of future spouses to ensure their connection has been adapted by adoptive parents to support the idea that adoptive families are created through divine intervention. It seems that most adoptive parents – at least those with a belief in a power greater than themselves – believe or want to believe that God has a hand in the formation of their family.

I’ve already said that I believe this is the case for our family, but what, exactly, does it mean to say that He had a hand in our adoptions? I hear many adoptive families say that that the children they’ve adopted were meant to be with their families from the very beginning. But where does that leave the birthparents? Because I believe in agency, I cannot view birthparents as mere vessels that God uses for the purposes of getting children to adoptive families. That would completely negate the ability to choose that is given to all of God’s children.

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