Did you happen to catch tonight’s “Late Show with Jay Leno?” If you did, then you probably caught guest Chelsea Handler’s comments about Angelina Jolie and her adoptions, not to mention her [obnoxious] racist innuendo about Asians being bad drivers and Vietnamese being good at doing nails.
If you didn’t see it, I’ll summarize and give you my take, ‘cause that’s what I get paid to do. 
First, Chelsea criticized Angelina for “going overseas” to adopt when there are so many kids in American who need to be adopted. She asked what was wrong with the kids in America that so many felt they need to look for children elsewhere.
Second, she criticized Angelina for changing the name of her Vietnamese son, Pax. She said he’s probably wandering around the house going, “Pax? Who’s Pax?”
I’ll tackle the name change issue in another post, but for now I’ll address the notion that those of us who choose international adoption are being unpatriotic.
I’ll just say it. I HATE it when people are critical of the fact that we adopted our children from other countries. Here are just a few reasons:
1. It’s none of their business how we choose to add to our family.
2. We followed the inspiration we received from our Father in Heaven each time we adopted, and we’re not going to ignore that guidance just because someone else thinks they need to be involved in our family planning decisions.
3. I don’t believe that God thinks American children are necessarily more (or less) deserving of families. I believe He is “no respecter of persons” and that He loves all children equally.
4. Although we’ve never adopted out of a sense of altruism, it’s simple fact that most children available for adoption in other countries come from far more dire situations than those in the U.S. Decent foster care is a far better environment for a child than any orphanage could be. Foster children receive medical care, education, and access to special services, all with the goal of reunification with the family of origin (if possible) or adoption as a second option. I realize that the ideal doesn’t always play out, but more American foster children have far greater care and resources available to them than children in orphanages in developing nations.
5. My experience working with the Department of Child and Family Services in my state has shown me that adopting through foster care is not necessarily a safe way to go. Information is very often withheld from foster/adopt families, probably because the Department feels the child will be easier to place, but the ends do not justify the means. I’ve seen tragic things happen because the families weren’t warned about what to expect and how to protect children already in their home. I’ve seen families apply to be foster/adopt parents, only to have paperwork languish on desktops and calls go unreturned. I’ve seen families be told they’re unsuitable, most often because they are larger to begin with, even though these families have the experience and expertise that can help kids from backgrounds of trauma succeed.
Thank goodness I don’t need Ms. Handler’s approval to do what’s best for my family.
Further Reading:
Who the heck is this Chelsea person? I’ve never heard of her, but she sounds like a moron. Leno’s standards must have dropped since I was in the US.
Did you see my post the other day about the “white separatist” protesting an adoption group’s fundraiser because “immigration” … his word for adoption in this case … “is absolutely a racial issue”?
http://news.adoptionblogs.com/index.php/weblogs/racsism-the-heart-gallery-and-a-stepdad
Wonder what his take would be on transracial adoption from foster care? I shudder to think …
What is wrong with people?
it really should not matter the origins of our children. we are all citizens of the same world. foster care is a mess in the US, but you are surely correct that at least those children have plenty of food, shelter, education and nurturing, generally speaking. there are some exceptions, but they are just that, exceptions.
Great blog. Who is this Chelsea chick and what does she really know about adoption but what she reads in the Enquirer?
apparently, she’s some comedian who wrote a book about her one night stands.
i wish I could see the interview in full context and then see if the Jolie-Pitt contingent has anything to say about it.
Of course, this is how celebrity feuds are started, right? LOL…
great blog, and actually I have been on the receiving end of the question here alot lately…
We adopted internationally too…I think it is easier in the Bay Area…no one looks twice if you have kids of a different race; in fact, they seem to smile more…I don’t watch TV, but I remember when my husband and I were interviewed by our local paper on international adoption, there were comments about “what about all the kids in the U.S?”. I have found most of those comments are not from people who have adopted much less adopted from the foster care system. Unless it was made very CLEAR to us by our Heavenly Father, we would not EVER get the state involved. When we were thinking about adoption when we lived in Utah, I am very thankful we didn’t go through the state. In California, I am very thankful we didn’t go through the state. If we ever did, we would get stuff in writing and really be very VERY careful. Have you read “The Unlit path” by Deb Hannah? about their families experiences adopting from the state of Colorado. Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Our pastor was thinking of adopting through the state of California and was told that no less than 60 people would be involved plus all the meetings. We adopted some very hurt and abused children with RAD and because, like the public school, you get some good and understanding people and some clueless ones with the Department of Social Services and it only takes ONE to really cause havoc, we are very thankful that we didn’t have any interference. Sure we don’t have state help, but actually, it is so much better because we had to throw ourselves on the mercy of our loving Heavenly Father and He has provided such riches of His grace that we have a better marriage and closer relationship with Him…oh, we are thankful…We can be cloistered away and choose what activities we know are going to help our kids and not worry about the misunderstanding so common with people that don’t understand RAD.
I still can’t believe how much healing our kids have made…it blows my mind…
After what the state of Utah allowed to happen with the Cascade Center in Orem…that center helped us so much with our kids…I no longer trust people who say they are educated unless I know they have lived with these kind of kids…
creampuff
I just don’t get this line of thought. All children deserve a secure loving family that will provide for their needs. Land boundaries do not alter this fact, and nor do they make some children more “worthy” or deserving than others. If a child cannot be found a suitable family in his/her country of birth, then why shouldn’t the child be united with an overseas family????! Every time a child in need joins a compatible family, we should celebrate. If the child is from foster care- Great! If the child is internationally adopted- Great! If the child was adopted as a domestic infant- Great! Once adoption is proven to be the child’s best option, I feel it makes little difference whether the child was born in the U.S. or abroad (though I do think heritage/ birth culture must be embraced- I’m not suggesting PARENTS ignore the region of birth).
It’s not like the child chose where to be born!!!
GGGGGRRRRRRR!!!
Excuse my rant!
~Stefanie
So true.
All children deserve homes with loving families regardless of where they come from.
I think most of the people who make those complaints are ignorant about the conditions in overseas ophanages. They problem picture clean, neat prestine baby “shops”, like stores that sell $5,000 handbags with happy gurgling babies or something.
I wish they wouldn’t remark about it and would instead simply talk about something else like, I don’t know. REFORMING THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM IN THIS COUNTRY.
TELEVISION ABROAD…
[...]Going overseas when there are “so many American kids in need of adoption” — LDS Ad[...]…