As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that “All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.” * I wonder if we sometimes forget this, and I have a million related questions. Are we sometimes too quick to “write off” children who come from riskier backgrounds because of the work that might be required of us, forgetting that they are divine spirit children of the same Father in Heaven? If so, are we justified in doing this? Should we feel some obligation to adopt simply because there is a need? Is not a true orphan, or a foster child with no hope of reuniting with birth family not “the least of these?” Are children in need of families not our spirit brothers and sisters? How does adoption factor into our obligation to bear one another’s burdens? (Or does it/should it?) And isn’t being without a family one of the biggest burdens life can throw at a young child?

I don’t have concrete answers to any of these questions, but I do have some thoughts. Maybe my biggest worry about the charity approach is not so much what compels a couple prior to the adoption, but how they might treat and view their child after it if their sole adoption motivation is charity. As I said in my previous "charity" post, no matter how dire a child’s circumstances may have been in his pre-adoption life, he shouldn’t be made to feel that he owes something for having been adopted. He shouldn’t feel pitied or pathetic or “less” in any way, simply because of circumstances over which he had no control. He deserves to be loved and helped and fully integrated into the family and not in any way painted as anything other than one of God's precious children.

Although I would never discount the importance of adequate research and preparation for adoption (particularly for couples investigating older child adoption or adoption of children with neglect and/or abuse in their pasts), sometimes I wonder if we’ve just made it all so complicated and negative that we scare people off – people who would otherwise consider adoption as a viable option to family building. Just the other day, I witnessed a discussion in an Internet chat group (not adoption related) about adopting from foster care. A couple was considering getting involved in their state’s foster/adopt program and asked whether others had experience with this type of adoption. Many, many people responded, but only a couple of them had successfully adopted from foster care and had positive things to say. The other responses addressed everything from being lied to by social workers, to the process being too paperwork-intense to insinuating that all foster children are “damaged” and thus unworthy of adoption. This is just one type of adoption people can consider, but I’m fairly certain that the responses this couple got put a serious damper on their adoption curiosity altogether. I’m not denying that the US foster care program has lots of room for improvement, but I wonder if we’ve gotten so caught up in the negatives that we use those negatives as protection against feeling compelled to do something challenging?

* The Family: A Proclamation to the World

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