We all feel like things are getting better already. He seems to be harassing the kids less and less often. Unfortunately, he still needs to test Mike almost daily. The other day he came home saying that everyone at school likes him but he's always in trouble at home. We pointed out that at school he doesn't pester people and always does what he's told! I think that actually made some sense to him.

We'll get through this together, although poor Mike is growing a great deal more gray hair and I have to issue death threats at least twice a week. The sickly, starving child in the photograph has developed into a startlingly handsome, healthy, and mostly happy young man. Sometimes he talks about how he wants to build a house for himself right next to ours when he grows up. Sometimes I relish the thought. Other days I find myself considering military schools. Garlise has never for a moment expressed a wish to go back to Haiti. His love for me is obvious most of the time and there are brilliant flashes of love toward Mike. On the good days, he is an amazingly loving older brother – much more so than the `average' American teenager would be. Mike and I feel confident (most of the time) that our son will develop into a good and useful man. Most days we feel assured that his character is excellent and his future is bright. Other days we just pray to get through it. It seems like there are getting to be fewer and fewer of the latter.

Adopting an abused teenager is not for everyone. It has taken every bit of patience and faith that we ever thought it would. Perhaps more than Mike thought it would. I have to keep reminding him that there were days, several years ago, when he would tell me he really didn't know if he could ever learn to love Myrlande and that he wasn't sure he was fit to be her father. Today she is such a part of his heart, and is as much fun to parent as any seventh grade girl ever could be. We've already been through this once, with the girl we called `the black hole' because of her endless need for more and more and more attention. Today, Myrlande has turned from a desperately needy taker into a self-assured, joyful giver. I tell Mike (and myself) that someday Garlise will be able to know with his head and his heart that we have passed all his tests and he needn't repeat them anymore.

This job is only for parents who are COMPLETELY committed to seeing it through, because I believe if we had ever had a moment of true, deep-down doubt, Garlise would have known it and it would have broken him. We have never wavered since Garline informed us that he is our son.

This job is only for parents with a good sense of humor. If you can't laugh at yourself and your child and the situation you have deliberately gotten yourself into, you'll spend a lot of time crying and doubting. Humor has gotten us out of so many situations that could have turned into life-and-death struggles for control and trust.

This job is only for parents who are willing to embrace who their child is, not who we wish he could have been. We got lucky with Garlise – as an unusually intelligent, athletic, and handsome young man, his `success' in American society is pretty much a given eventually. Our daughter Myrlande is showing some distinct cognitive disabilities in logical ordering and reasoning. She may always need a bit of backup with her finances and big decisions. But we are able to focus on her many gifts and are truly content with just who she is. Older kids come to us more fully formed, and they will always know if we do not love and embrace who they are and where they came from.

We will celebrate Garlise's first `gotcha day' anniversary on Feb. 22nd of this year. He has grown four and a half inches and gained twenty pounds. He has earned many new friends, learned a new language, and learned how to play basketball. He has gained enough trust and faith to ask us for help and expect it us to deliver. He has lost his whole community, his homeland, and every friend he ever had. Garlise is our son, both on the days when we dearly wish he had another late basketball practice, and on the days like this weekend when he is completely delightful in every way for 48 hours straight. On the great days and the awful days, we're stuck with each other. Just like any other family.

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