Let’s take the first question – finances. I think most people would agree that many of our 2007 “needs” would have been constituted “wants” in earlier times. Beyond that, our culture has begun to place importance on things that earlier generations couldn’t have conceived of. A good example, and a pertinent one in our family’s life, is the importance of college funds. Our children have no college funds, at least not yet, and many people we know consider this unthinkable. Our take is that our most important “savings” are our two-year supply of food and... more

And regarding mothers working outside the home, President Hinckley said in 1996:

“I recognize … that there are some women (it has become very many in fact) who have to work to provide for the needs of their families. To you I say, do the very best you can. I hope that if you are employed full-time you are doing it to ensure that basic needs are met and not simply to indulge a taste for an elaborate home, fancy cars, and other luxuries. The greatest job that any mother will ever do will be in nurturing, teaching, lifting, encouraging,... more

According to a demographic study published in the Journal of Population Studies in 1979, LDS women born between 1800 and 1869 averaged 9 live births per woman married at 20, and 6 live births per woman married at 25. LDS families tended to be larger through most of the 20th century, but began to decline toward the latter end. LDS birthrates are still higher, but have followed essentially the same trends as the rest of the country; for me... more

Tonight, I caught a bit of a CNN program which included a panel of three individuals who were weighing in on Angelina Jolie’s plans to adopt a little boy from Viet Nam. Since I missed the beginning, I’m not sure what “qualified” these people to debate Angelina’s family planning, nor do I know what aspects of her adoption they’d discussed prior to my tuning in – nevertheless, I got an earful. One of the panelists questioned how Angelina and Brad’s children could get enough attention when there were “so many” of them, and also commented that their 10-month-old... more

"Name-calling? I didn't mean anything!"

Often young children do not know the meaning of the words they use, but they do know that the words will get a reaction from the victim. Children need to learn that such language can hurt other people, and is as bad as throwing rocks. Children who yell a racist or other hurtful name in anger should be talked to right away. They must learn not to throw objects at or say hurtful words to other children. Children need to understand that they have made a mistake and have hurt someone.... more

As I’ve mulled over the ways I can handle this, I’ve sought help from several sources.

First, I turned to friends with multiracial families. Some offered advice, and some merely offered their sympathies, but all offered the comfort that comes from interacting with those who’ve endured the same sorts of trials.

Second, I turned to the scriptures. Even though I know that my sweet girl is a beloved daughter of God, and equal and deserving and precious in His sight, it is helpful for me to see this Truth in writing as I read the words of the Lord:

Acts... more

I couldn’t write about this yesterday because I was feeling very emotional and far from objective. Today, however, I’m going to tackle this, and hope that it will be of benefit to those of you who have or will encounter racism.

Although as a parent to children of color I expect - and try to be prepared for - racism, this was our first experience with a blatantly racist comment being directed at one of our children. (Far more common are the “what beautiful almond eyes” and “they have such interesting hair” varieties.) Yesterday afternoon, my oldest son Joshua... more

So, what of charity? Is it such a poor adoption motivation? After all, you can look up “orphans” and “fatherless” in the Bible and find numerous references to the way the Lord wants such children to be cared for. We’re expected to provide for them as we are widows and the poor, so is it so bad to lump adoption in as a way we can exercise charity?

Consider this definition from the Bible Dictionary:

The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ. It is never used to denote alms or deeds or benevolence, although it may be a prompting motive.

And consider Moroni 7:47:

But charity... more

Some adoptive parents argue that maybe this isn’t such a bad thing and go so far as to embrace the notion of “saving a child” and see it as a noble endeavor. A fellow adoptive parent once chided a group of other adoptive parents for distancing themselves from the notion of child saving. In essence, she said that you can call it whatever you want, but when you take an unwanted baby girl (in this case, Chinese) and make her a part of your forever family, rather than leaving her to an orphanage life and ultimately extreme poverty after she turns 18 and is discharged from her “home,” you are, in fact, saving her. And all the garbage that adoptive parents spew about how she would be giving up... more

In January, our local Christian radio station did a weeklong series on adoption. The underlying message in the programming was that if Christians are going to call themselves pro-life, they need to be willing to put their money where their mouths are, so to speak. (The argument was also made that increasing adoption would have the side benefit of decreasing abortion, but I don’t’ recall whether they cited any research to back this claim.) The speakers advocated starting adoption specific ministries within churches, presenting adoption seminars to educate people about the types and costs of adoption, and generally urged Christians everywhere to consider (and pray) about whether they could... more