3. Decorate the nursery or bedroom (or bedrooms if you’re like me and add a few at a time)! Again, some people think this is bad luck, but if you’re one of them – get over it! It’s fun! Yes, I had to come home from a failed adoption to an empty bed and closet full of new clothes and toys, and yes, it was hard, but we lived through it and went on to adopt another child, who – coincidentally – also needed a cute new bed and clothes. If you’re determined to adopt, you will adopt eventually even if you hit a few roadblocks along the way,... more

No matter what form of adoption you may be pursuing, chances are there’s a lot of waiting involved. Sometimes we try to console ourselves with the knowledge that human gestation is a nine-month process (so we should be able to stand to wait THAT long, right?), but with China adoptions creeping up toward a 20-month wait and some domestic adoptions taking literally YEARS, the waiting can be pretty difficult to get through. Especially when adoption timeframes are open-ended, as they can be with unstable countries, domestic newborn adoption, or trying to adopt a child... more

Even though Karen and I were miles apart, the Spirit bore witness to both of us that her choice and my growing up in the family I did were all in accordance with Heavenly Father’s plan.

Karen and I made plans to meet in person, and in the 13 years since that night, Karen has become a cherished friend. She has developed a special relationship with my sweet mother as well. Karen has never attempted to take my mother’s place. She simply adds another dimension of love to a life full of blessings. She has also become “Grandma Karen” to my... more

One afternoon at work, I finally convinced myself to make the phone call. I spoke with two sweet-sounding people who could not emphasize enough how happy they were that I had called. They briefly told me about their family and the circumstances surrounding my birth. Their daughter, Karen, had become pregnant as a high school senior, with no option of being happily married. They asked about me and my life. They requested my home phone number and told me they would have Karen call me that evening. So I went home after work quite anxious about... more

By the end of the year, when life was starting to feel a little more settled, I got an unusual telephone call from my mother. She had received a letter from a couple in Utah who said they were the maternal grandparents of a baby girl placed for adoption in Sandpoint, Idaho, 28 years previously. They requested that if my parents were willing, the information containing their names, address, and telephone number be forwarded to me.

My mother explained that the letter had taken a miraculous journey to reach her. It was originally mailed... more

Adults who were placed in adoptive families in infancy through LDS Family Services (and similar placement agencies) can be difficult for birthparents to track down. Thirty years ago, adoptions were nearly always closed and sealed, often making it very difficult for parties to locate each other. Thankfully, LDSFS placements have moved to a much higher degree of openess in recent years, allowing birthchildren and birthparents easier reconnection, should they choose.

Today I came across a wonderful article in the June 2006 edition of The Ensign which... more

Got an hour to spare? If so, I suggest you sit back and enjoy a wonderful BYU devotional. Mark Peterson, a professor of Korean studies at BYU, spoke on the subject of adoption on March 8, 2005. He relates his own family’s adoption experiences, and likens them to the way we are all adopted into the house of Israel:

“But adoption is not limited to the special cases we call ‘adopted.’ It pertains to all of us. The Apostle Paul made several references to adoption. He spoke of adoption as the process by which we become members of the covenant, part of the family of Abraham. In five instances Paul used the term adoption to indicate the process by which Gentiles and Jews become... more

The world tells us that having a large family isn’t possible to do successfully. Something’s gotta give. Somebody’s gotta come out holding the short end of the stick. There simply isn’t enough time or enough money to raise a large family and do it well, right? Interestingly, or maybe logically - coming at this from the angle I am - a 1998 Ohio State University study yielded results that scientifically counter society’s view that LDS large families suffer due to lack of resources. And I say “LDS large families” specifically because this was true only... more

The last question, about how we do (fill-in-the-blank) obviously depends on what’s being asked, but I have learned through experience that I can do a lot of things with a large family I never imagined I could. I won’t go into specifics here since the field is wide open, but trust me, if you can take 9 kids on a plane to Disneyland, there isn’t much you can’t do. ;)

Satan wants us to believe that big families are too much work, that they require too much sacrifice, and that it will be emotionally damaging to the children we already have to add... more

The second question I mentioned, “Are you able to spend one-on-one time with your kids?” is another one I wonder about. There’s no denying that spending time with your children together and separately is a good thing, but I can’t help thinking that the emphasis on “one-on-one time” and “quality time” stems from the guilt we feel about relying on childcare, and scheduling our children’s extracurricular activities as though they’re little executives. (And please note that I said “we” and am not being critical of moms who work outside the home. I’ve been... more