While researching something entirely different, I ran across this blog post today and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

When we were first debating adding a fifth child (presumably by birth) and subsequently encountered the idea of international adoption, I spent a good chunk of time wondering whether we should adopt if we were able to have biological children. I worried about the commandment to “multiply and replenish the earth,” and whether I was somehow ducking my responsibility in this area by choosing adoption (though this concern seems pretty silly to me now). Later, even after we had our adoption... more

Today was our daughter, Lulu's, 8th birthday. It was a wonderful day, and one I hope she will remember for a long, long time. I always find myself feeling a little emotional on my kids' birthdays, and especially on their first birthdays. In many ways, today was Lu's first birthday.

Over the last few days, most of my children had come to me privately to ask what their dad and I had purchased for Lulu's birthday. We normally don't share such secrets because they tend not to stay secrets for long, but I was struck with their reasons for wanting to... more

There was absolutely nothing redeeming about the Sandy character, but unfortunately, “Sandy” is the standard birthmother portrayed in most TV shows and movies. Birthmothers are alcoholics, prostitutes, drug abusers, teenagers, uneducated, uncaring, selfish, and cruel. In a culture that gets so much of its “knowledge” from the media, negative birthmother stereotypes have been slow to change. I may not have the qualifications of birthmother myself, but there are many first parents in the world who are selflessly putting themselves on the line to tell the truth about who they are, and who they are not. I believe we owe it to them to listen.

I am a Birth Mother

"I... more

Last Saturday night I was up far later than I should have been working on things for Primary the next morning. I’d had a busy week and my procrastination was catching up to me! (I’m the first counselor in the Primary presidency but was also filling in for the chorister). When I finally finished, I decided to get in bed and watch TV to help me unwind a little, and I came across a show called “Girlfriends” on the new CW network. I’d seen part of “Girlfriends” once before and in that episode, one of the characters, Lynn (who is biracial), indicated that she’d been adopted by Caucasian parents. So when I came across the show again, my interest was piqued and I decided to watch it.

To... more

The assignment to bring in a baby photo can also be problematic for the adopted child. When my children attended public school, each one was asked to bring a baby photo and current photo to be displayed on the board for a matching game. Kids who could match newborn photos to their grown counterparts could win prizes, so they were all motivated to participate. Thankfully, this happened before we started adopting.

In another scenario, children are sometimes asked to bring in a baby photo and tell their classmates about their families. For one, baby photos of an adopted child may not exist (I have ONE newborn photo of ONE of my adopted children) and two, if the child is a person... more

In our family tree experiment, we were fortunate to be able to work on it in the privacy of our own home and in a way that didn’t single our daughter out in front of 30 other kids. If you’re confronted with an assignment given to your child, and particularly one that requires some sort of verbal presentation, Adoptive Family Magazine gives these suggestions for handing it.

For Younger Children

My Home: Children draw and name the people... more

Yesterday, just prior to writing my last post, my mother and I were discussing school activities that children are sometimes assigned to do, and how they can be problematic for adopted children. Two examples came to mind: the “family tree” project and the “who’s who?” baby photo activity. I had told my mom that because we are a homeschooling family, our adopted children would fortunately be spared these particular challenges. Well, the joke was on me when Lulu came home from Achievement Days last night with a blank family group... more

Lulu was quiet for a minute and then said, or stated, more accurately, that her birthmother would be coming back with us. She went on to ask which bedroom she would sleep in once she got here, and when she silently considered the fact that there were no more available rooms, she offered up our master bedroom! At first, I thought we were being displaced, but then she clarified that her birthmother would share our bed with us since it’s so big. (It’s only a queen, by the way.) Ah, the logic of a child. ;)

I’ll admit I was thrown a little off-guard... more

Even though we talk about adoption issues on a daily basis in our family, we can go weeks between the really in-depth discussions that are prompted by specific questions from our children. The events of our evening, however, coincidentally elicited engaging conversations with two of our daughters.

Tonight, our daughter Lulu attended her first Achievement Days activity. Lulu won’t actually be eight until next Tuesday, but I arranged for her to go this week because the theme was “our heritage” and I hoped it would give her the chance to talk to... more

Do you know someone (or someones) who you consider to be one of the many unsung heros of the adoption world? If so, consider nominating them to be a Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI) Angel in Adoption! The CCAI recognizes worthy groups, couples and individuals who are nominated by their congressional representatives because of their heart for adoption. If you know someone you think is deserving of this distinction, read on for complete nomination instructions:

Dear Adoption Community Member:

Each... more