Speaking of unwanted attention, there’s the air travel portion of our trip that is giving me pause. We’ve flown with six, but never with nine, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a tad apprehensive about it. I was able to pick seats on all but one leg of our flight, so we’ll be appealing to the sensibilities of strangers on that flight to allow us to sit together. I have a plan in case no one volunteers to move seats. It involves baby pinching. A crying kid ought to scare most people off, right?

In case you’re wondering, nine is the most... more

OK, I’ve been keeping a little secret that I’m bursting at the seams to share: we’re going to Disneyland!

“OK, that sounds fun,” you say, “but what does it have to do with adoption?”

Much, my friend. Much.

You see, it all started when we began planning a “family honeymoon” of sorts for after the arrival of our three newest kids. We knew better than to head off on some fabulously wonderful vacation a week or two after they showed up because, one, we were broke, two, the pesky diarrhea problem would have put a damper on things,... more

continued from previous post

We all feel like things are getting better already. He seems to be harassing the kids less and less often. Unfortunately, he still needs to test Mike almost daily. The other day he came home saying that everyone at school likes him but he's always in trouble at home. We pointed out that at school he doesn't pester people and always does what he's told! I think that actually made some sense to him.

We'll get through this together, although poor Mike is growing a great deal more gray hair and I have to issue death threats at least twice a week.... more

continued from previous post

Garlise is becoming comfortable in his new world. He is beginning to think of us as his parents, and he understands that there is nothing any force on earth can do to make me abandon him. So he is now testing everything else. Like most children/teens from such abusive backgrounds, Garlise is compelled to do everything in his power to prove to himself that he will lose this family too. All of that righteous anger, bottled up for all those years, is coming out at last.

As a child it was dangerous to cry, tantrum, or in any other way draw attention... more

continued from previous post

In Haiti Garlise was in survival mode all the time, even in the orphanage where he knew he was safe. He freely accepted his role at BRESMA as the `man of the house' and took responsibility for many of the small children, as well as his completely clueless and helpless American mother each time I came to visit him. He escorted me everywhere I went, translated for me from Kreyol to my limited Kreyol, and tirelessly assisted me with all kinds of un-fun work I did for Magarette, the orphanage director and my boss. In Haiti, Garlise was a responsible, gentle,... more

I came across this letter this morning found it to be incredibly touching and poignant. It honestly presents the challenges of older child adoption, but celebrates the joys, as well. I am sharing it here, with permission, in the hopes that others will be inspired to accept those challenges and joys into their lives. It is long, but well worth the read.

Diana's Story:

Well, we're just shy of a year home for Garlise! Time for another Boni family update – the good, the bad, and the just plain goofy…

I am writing this very long letter for a purpose. My son will never thank me for it. In fact, someday, when he learns how I have broadcast our family's private... more

RESOURCE LIST

Package courses

Pimsleur is an auditory-only, CD based program with38 different languages available. Full programs retail for $345 per 30-course level, but can be found new for more than half that and used at even greater savings, so be sure to shop around. Not all languages have multiple levels, but Mandarin, for example, has three, so be sure to check for package deals, as well. Sites such as Pimsleur... more

If you’re convinced you’d like to try to learn your child’s language, here are a few suggestions:

1. Consider asking for a special blessing to help you with your language-learning endeavor. As I studied my daughter’s language and later began communicating with her in person, I felt the blessings of the Lord pour out upon me and truly felt I had been given the gift of tongues. Certainly, desiring to speak with your child is a righteous desire, and I felt language knowledge just pouring into me as worked to improve my skills.

2. Find out what language... more

If you’ve talked to other adoptive parents of older children from other countries, you’ve probably heard something like, “You’ll be amazed at how fast your child will learn English! It’s only been six months, and now our daughter understands everything!” I agree with that, and it IS amazing, but six months can also seem like a L-O-N-G time if you aren’t running on all cylinders with your communication! As I’ve said in previous posts, I believe that hampered communication can interfere with the bonding process, and it’s just one more thing you can take steps now... more

Adopting from Haiti and other poverty-stricken countries can be a difficult journey for some families because sometimes children simply pass away during the wait. Living in a developed country as we do, it can be easy to forget that infant death and even older child death is a frequent occurrence in other nations. We take for granted things like medical insurance, prescription plans, and access to quality healthcare, while for people in places like Haiti, these are incomprehensible luxuries. In the case of our friend’s son-to-be, it is supremely frustrating to know that he’s only two hours from people and resources that could take care of his medical needs, yet there is so much in the way... more