Just the other day, I took my daughter in to the pediatrician because she had a strange rash on her stomach. Our regular pediatrician was gone and a locum doctor was there in her place. I had to explain about Cora’s albinism, which lead to a brief discussion about Haiti and how she’d been adopted. The doctor asked if we had other children, and I told her that we did and that Cora was one of three we’d just adopted from Haiti. She then asked if we were foster parents, and I told her that we had four birth children, two from China, and now the three from Haiti. She dropped Cora’s chart in her lap and exclaimed, “Oh my goodness! Does everyone around here know who you are? Are you well-known... more

Being an adoptive family or even a prospective adoptive family can open you up for all sorts of unwelcome questions, comments and general observations on your life. In my experience, I’ve only rarely been confronted by people who express overtly negative feelings on the subject of adoption, but I find that these kinds of run-ins aren’t the only ones that cause me to cringe. No, the worst encounters seem to occur when people’s ignorance gets in the way of their attempts to “praise” or offer “encouragement.” Just ask any couple that has experienced infertility... more