Yesterday morning, I took Lulu (8, Haiti) and Maizie (5, China) with me to run some errands. Number one on my “to do” list was delivering a packet of pictures and a letter to my friend J, who was leaving for Haiti the next morning and would be seeing Lulu and Jackson’s birthmom. On the way, I explained to Lulu that J would be delivering the envelope to her birthmother and told her a bit of what I’d said in the letter. Lulu got very excited and began to ask if she could “go to Haiti tomorrow,” and after a brief explanation about why that wasn’t possible, she asked when we would be able to visit. I told her, as I have every time she asks, that we will visit when she is a... more

I’m betting that if you find some Joe Schmo on the street and ask him to tell you the first ten words he thinks of when you give him the word “adoption,” he’s bound to throw in words like “expensive” and “complicated” and even “dangerous.” He might tell you a story about a friend of a friend whose child was “taken back” by a birthparent or about his adopted cousin who ended up in jail (and of course, those two facts must be related.)

Yes, there are some difficult and awful adoption subjects (baby trafficking, disruption, Reactive Attachment Disorder,... more

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that “All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.” * I wonder if we sometimes forget this, and I have a million related questions. Are we sometimes too quick to “write off” children who come from riskier backgrounds because of the work that might be required of us, forgetting that they are divine spirit children of the same Father in Heaven? If so, are we justified in doing... more

I’ve mentioned before that I work 2-3 days per month assessing children from birth to six years as part of a multidisciplinary team, and today happened to be one of my workdays. Probably 50% of the children we evaluate are either current foster children, or were adopted from foster care, and we occasionally see children who were adopted privately as infants as well as a few (mostly mine!) who were adopted internationally.

Today, two of the three children we assessed were biological brothers who currently reside in different foster homes. They are numbers... more

Additional resources:

The Genesis Group

From the website:

The Genesis Group was established to meet the needs of Black members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, many of whom were descendants of early pioneers, with the hope of reactivating those who had left the Church and of supporting new converts of African descent. It was established in 1971 under the direction of President Harold B. Lee with the assistance of Elders Gordon B. Hinckley,... more

2 Nephi 26:33 "...and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile."

Article of Faith Three

We believe that through the atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel. (emphasis mine)

“Sermons and Writings of Bruce R. McConkie”

"There are statements in our literature by the early Brethren that we have interpreted to mean that the Negroes... more

I can’t possibly do justice to all the different theories (and theories, they are) about curses and lineage and when and where and how the policy began, but I use the story of Abel’s murder and Cain’s subsequent punishment to illustrate that the “knowledge” some church members have on the subject of blacks and the gospel can be damaging to our children. I believe that even neutral and even well-intentioned comments, if doctrinally incorrect, are our responsibility to counter, just as we would any other adoption-related misconceptions. But we can’t educate others if we don’t first educate ourselves, and I sincerely hope that caucasian LDS parents will take this education seriously. At the... more

Another reason it’s a good idea for caucasian parents who hope to adopt transracially to have a handhold on race and church history is because social workers who are aware of the church’s past policy want to know how this will be handled with the child. “What priesthood ban?” is not a good response. If you are going to be a parent of a black child, you owe it to the child to educate yourself. Consider the experiences of one adoptive family:

I will never forget sitting across the desk from the guardian ad litem for my first son in her Milwaukee office. She was a polished, accomplished woman. She was black.... more

Since I was hired to create this blog, I’ve been wanting to tackle the difficult subject of race issues and the Church. In the beginning, it sounded like a logical topic to cover for an LDS adoption blog, knowing that many members adopt transracially. But each time I tried to start mentally composing something, it seemed just too emotionally and intellectually challenging.

I’ve been doing a little “research” over the last few weeks, and I suppose I’ve been trying to get my own bearings on “the facts” and how I feel about them before I write about something... more

11. Do what Mormon women do best – quilt! OK, that’s a joke. At least to me. I couldn’t quilt to save my life and have to feign illness to save myself from humiliation on quilting Enrichment Nights. But whatever “crafty” things you may know how to do, or whatever hobbies you’re interested in, do them. For me, a valance and a few poorly sewn flannel baby blankets constituted the totality of my sewing efforts, but I did throw myself into the decorating of my new children’s rooms, spent time learning to cook new things, and partook of... more