Again, my perceptions may be useless since I’m not a PBP, but the message that I get from a lot of the letters I’ve looked at is that they’re much more about the adoptive family than the placing family. Obviously, the letter is to introduce the PAP to the PBP, but I think that introduction can be made without it being quite so one-sided, and in a way that acknowledges what the PBP is going through, but not in a trite way. In a way that tells about your family in an interesting and unique way, but without relying on stereotypes. In a way that assures that you’d... more

Having spent the last couple of hours researching for this post, I’m left with a certain je ne sais quoi feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I sense that were I indeed a pregnant woman weighing adoption, I might be able to take these letters only in small doses and for short stretches at a time. Most of them tell me I’m an angel, thank me for choosing life for my baby, and thank me again for considering giving this precious gift. (Not sure how I feel about baby=gift mentality). After a while, the letters begin to run together. The people in them are... more

Before I get going with this entry, I want to make it clear right off the bat that I don’t believe any expectant parent who is merely considering an adoption plan should be referred to as a “birthparent.” I used the above title only because it is commonly used and lets you know immediately what this entry is about, but at the same time, I hope this post adequately explains why it might be best to avoid this type of address in a letter.

The letter that hopeful adoptive parents write to prospective birthparents is probably the most crucial part of... more