As I wrote in part one, fear was the biggest obstacle to our feeling open to adopting a child with special needs, but we quickly learned that knowledge was power. The more knowledge we acquired, the less scary it seemed. Here are the steps we took to educate ourselves and to get up and over the fear hurdle. In our case, they’re specific to vision impairment and albinism, but the same basic steps can apply to any sort of special need.

1. Use the Internet to research

When we first learned about an available six-month-old baby girl with albinism in Haiti, I started to research... more

Before we adopted any children with special needs, I used to wonder what made families who did adopt them tick. I imagined they simply had bigger hearts than I did and were better people, or they were ignorant or even just gluttons for punishment. I’d read and hear people talk about the blessings of rearing children with disabilities but chalked it up to something people just “say,” because really, what else could they say? They had to try to put a positive spin on it, right?

I just didn’t get it.

Looking back, our hesitation about adopting a child with special needs boiled down to one word: fear. We were afraid. Afraid of the medical costs, the delays,... more

In addition to this miraculous blessing, we began to see Cora blossom, even after spending just shy of a week with her. By the time we left, she could hold her bottle momentarily, could pick up and feed herself Cheerios, could copy some of our vocalizations, and was showing an interest in toys. Looking back, I think it was a blessing that we didn’t get to see Cora on our first Haiti trip, prior to committing to her, because the delays might have scared us off then. The way things happened ensured that she would make her little way into our hearts and lives.

Since Cora came home in October of last year, she has continued to make amazing strides. When she reached us, she could crawl... more

Once we got to the hotel and spent some time with her, we began to see that she was a happy, delightful baby girl. But we also discovered that at 13 months, she was VERY delayed, not able to bear weight on her legs, hold her own bottle, eat solid foods, transfer objects from one hand to another, or engage in any sort of appropriate play. I began to panic. The low vision and nystagmus I’d been prepared for, but not this. I started to balk. I began to question whether the decision to adopt her had really been inspired. Doubts crept into my mind about whether I could parent a child with so many needs, what her future would be like, heck, what OUR futures would be like! I began to think... more

As I said in my earlier posts, I knew a little about albinism because of my involvement in a discussion group for adoptive parents of Chinese children with special needs (our Sofie had a congenital heart defect, hence my membership in the group). There were many adoptive families in the group with children with albinism, and I’d caught enough bits and pieces of their discussions to know that people with it have low vision and needed to be careful in the sun. Once we got home from Haiti, I asked for pictures of the baby, but weeks went by and no pictures came. My husband and I prayed about what to do, and in the meantime, we finally got a single photo, taken from an odd angle, that showed... more

As I mentioned in my introductory posts about our family and adoption experiences, the idea of adopting from Haiti was something that just kind of fell into our laps. We’d been planning to adopt one or two children from Viet Nam, but through an interesting series of events, we found ourselves starting at our Lulu’s picture and accepting her referral as well as that of her newborn baby brother, whom we’d not yet seen. Shortly thereafter, we learned that they had a sister, roughly age three, who was part of the sibling group. This was a surprise to us, but after prayerful consideration, we decided to go ahead with our plans and adopt all three children. Not long after that, we received the... more

Over the coming year, I plan to do occasional entries on the various types of special needs that are most often seen in waiting children, particularly those in international settings. It is my hope that other families will open their minds and hearts to children who have such needs, and that hearing other families’ stories will help them envision special children in their families. I’ve chosen to start with albinism since we have personal experience with it, and I hope to touch on heart problems next (also one we have personal experience with). And just a note... more

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This was the first of several major operations our little son, whom we named Derek Kim, would endure over the next few years. He survived each one with the help of blessings, special prayers, and fasting in his behalf. The high medical costs of these surgeries brought a change in our life-style. We sold our luxurious home and other material things to pay the bills. My counseling career was replaced by nursing classes at our local college as I slipped into my new role as a home health-care provider. Many friends could not understand how we could give up so many of our material possessions. My feeble attempts to explain that worldly goods didn’t mean that much to... more

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Before long, word came that the orphanage would soon send the baby. A few days later, we received word that the baby was on his way. But when the flight arrived, he was not aboard. Our hearts sank as a flight attendant informed us that the baby had taken a turn for the worse and the airlines would not allow him on board until he could be stabilized. So we waited. Then another flight was arranged; the baby would arrive at midnight. Again we waited. Finally the announcement came that the Korean jet had been delayed but would land at 1:40 A.M.

As the passengers stepped from the plane, the tension mounted. The last of the passengers walked past us. After what... more

Who Will Adopt a Dying Child? (Korea)

By Carole W. Hankal, Ensign, Oct. 1989, 62

A tiny, abused, and badly burned infant lay dying in a Korean orphanage—a forgotten child. He was the unwanted child of an Asian mother and an American serviceman: the product of two cultures, but accepted by neither because of the great prejudice in that country against mixed blood.

Several thousand miles away in America, I drove on a warm summer’s evening to join my husband at a board of directors’ meeting for Heal the Children. This nonprofit organization relied upon hospitals, medical specialists, and volunteer families to help poverty-stricken children... more