In part one, I talked about how hurtful it can be to have adoption nay-sayers in your life, and in part two, I discussed ways we can remind ourselves that we’re doing the right thing, even in the face of negativity.

This section is all about talking through those unsolicited, negative comments!

If you’re like me, you’ve gotten fairly good at sizing up people’s comments on the fly. I’ve found that the vast majority of offensive comments/questions come from ignorance (e.g., “Do you have any kids of your own? Do you know anything about their real... more

In part one, I wrote about my struggles with our second adopted child and how I suffered from Post Adoption Depression. In this post, I’ll be discussing some of the things that helped me recover!

1. TIME! It was true for me that time was an excellent healer. As the days, weeks and months went by, I found myself feeling better and better. I also found that I could look back and more objectively see the progress Sofie had made with her behavior and abilities, as well as with our bonding. 2. Prayer. I prayed a LOT! I asked Heavenly Father to help me to overcome... more

Please, before you read this post, read this one from the Adoption.com forums and then come back and join me. :)

For readers unfamiliar with our family’s adoption stories, I will say in the interest of full disclosure that we have not adopted domestically and therefore don’t have firsthand experience with writing a letter to birthparents, deciding what sort of adoption (open, semi-open, closed) we’re comfortable with, or dealing with any of the other decisions and issues typically associated with a domestic adoption. But thanks to some unusual twists, we found ourselves in the unique... more

First, wipe out your expectations. Assume you’re starting with a blank slate, and think of any skills you identify right away in your child as bonuses. This is not to say you should expect your child will be unintelligent, but chances are that he will be behind, will have learned things differently, and in the case of international adoption, will have limited English skills.

Second, don’t worry too much about doing formal “school” for the first few months. Just play! Read together, sing, dance, go for walks, plant flowers, go shopping, visit the park, go on picnics, cook, do art projects, play games, draw pictures, watch movies and just get to know your new child. In our case,... more

If you’re not interested in maintaining a blog but would still like to make your adoption experience available to the public, or just to friends and family, there are other options.

The first is to set up a private discussion group, such as a Yahoo group where you can post pictures and information about your adoption plans and experiences. These groups can made public or private, depending on your preferences. You can even elect to have them not appear in the Yahoo groups directory if you’d like. You can post messages and photos, and members of your group can do likewise, depending on the way you set the group’s permissions. One advantage... more

First, decide where you want to host your blog. There are a variety of free blogging sites with blogging packages that will suit most beginning bloggers. Below is a list of some of the more popular options:

Blogger Word Press Type Pad Live Journal

There are even blogs for people with specific interests or lifestyles, such as:

Homestead Blogger Homeschool Blogger

Second, decide on what level of... more

As I wrote in part one, fear was the biggest obstacle to our feeling open to adopting a child with special needs, but we quickly learned that knowledge was power. The more knowledge we acquired, the less scary it seemed. Here are the steps we took to educate ourselves and to get up and over the fear hurdle. In our case, they’re specific to vision impairment and albinism, but the same basic steps can apply to any sort of special need.

1. Use the Internet to research

When we first learned about an available six-month-old baby girl with albinism in Haiti, I started to research... more

11. Do what Mormon women do best – quilt! OK, that’s a joke. At least to me. I couldn’t quilt to save my life and have to feign illness to save myself from humiliation on quilting Enrichment Nights. But whatever “crafty” things you may know how to do, or whatever hobbies you’re interested in, do them. For me, a valance and a few poorly sewn flannel baby blankets constituted the totality of my sewing efforts, but I did throw myself into the decorating of my new children’s rooms, spent time learning to cook new things, and partook of... more

9. Take a vacation. Everyone knows that finances can be tight in the midst of an adoption, but even if you can’t afford a deluxe Caribbean cruise, you can still plan a last couple-only (or smaller family-only) fling. Putting your plans off into the future a bit (but not so far that they could possibly conflict with your adoption schedule) will give you something fun to look forward to and help take your mind off the wait. Plan a long weekend in a city within a day’s drive. Go camping. Go visit grandparents. If you can’t spare a few... more

7. Diet/exercise. This is “do as I say and not as I do” case. ;) My goal with each adoption has been to LOSE as much weight as I would have gained if I were pregnant, so about 30 pounds. For the sake of full disclosure, I haven’t reached my goal on the first three adoptions, but I’m off to a good start with this one! Happy thoughts, happy thoughts… Anyway, especially since your time will be more limited once you have a new family member, it’s a good idea to use the wait time to get into better shape, eat healthier, and tackle other... more