There was absolutely nothing redeeming about the Sandy character, but unfortunately, “Sandy” is the standard birthmother portrayed in most TV shows and movies. Birthmothers are alcoholics, prostitutes, drug abusers, teenagers, uneducated, uncaring, selfish, and cruel. In a culture that gets so much of its “knowledge” from the media, negative birthmother stereotypes have been slow to change. I may not have the qualifications of birthmother myself, but there are many first parents in the world who are selflessly putting themselves on the line to tell the truth about who they are, and who they are not. I believe we owe it to them to listen.

I am a Birth Mother

"I... more

Last Saturday night I was up far later than I should have been working on things for Primary the next morning. I’d had a busy week and my procrastination was catching up to me! (I’m the first counselor in the Primary presidency but was also filling in for the chorister). When I finally finished, I decided to get in bed and watch TV to help me unwind a little, and I came across a show called “Girlfriends” on the new CW network. I’d seen part of “Girlfriends” once before and in that episode, one of the characters, Lynn (who is biracial), indicated that she’d been adopted by Caucasian parents. So when I came across the show again, my interest was piqued and I decided to watch it.

To... more

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We met each other a few weeks before I gave birth, and we bonded immediately. At LDS Family Services, my parents and I met the adoptive parents and their six-year-old daughter. We visited for about two hours, talking and getting to know each other. The day after we met each other, they wrote me a letter saying how good they felt about everything. They said it was an answer to their prayers.

After I gave birth to my baby girl, I had a couple days with her to myself. The night before the placement was hard. I was holding the baby, thinking, “How am I going to do this? Will I be able to do this?” I was praying for strength.

The next step was... more

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In my next couple of appointments with Kathy, we talked about adoption and how that process works. Finally, after weeks of meeting with Kathy, I felt that I had a good idea of what was involved with adoption and with single parenting.

Being a single parent would be hard, as would placing my baby for adoption. So I prayed about this decision continually. I put off deciding to place my baby for adoption because it was a difficult decision I didn’t want to make right away.

I came to the decision to place my baby for adoption after months of soul searching, deep thought, and lots of prayer. It took me a long time to feel like I had an answer. Even... more

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When I came across this story, I just knew that I had to share it here. Knowing that so many birthparents undertake the decision to place a baby through counsel with their church leaders and heartfelt prayer to the Lord helps us to know that Heavenly Father's hand is truly directing the course of these sweet babies' lives. It is not up to chance, and birthparents and adoptive parents alike can receive great peace and comfort knowing that He is there helping with these difficult decisions.

The story is called "The Adoption Decision" and can be found in the March 2006 New Era.

Name Withheld

A 19-year-old unwed mother,... more

Our family has been blessed by international adoption five times over, but we have never completed a domestic adoption (though we’ve been through two failed attempts). Because our adoption processes didn’t include being chosen by our children’s first parents, our involvement with and knowledge about birthparents has been little to none, and this is frequently the case for international adoptions. It’s hard to conceive of an adoption “triad” when a crucial piece of the triangle is just a fuzzy concept rather than a specific person or persons. I’m painfully... more