The weather the day of our WAP visit was absolutely perfect and I think it contributed to the positive experience we had overall. The kids were well-behaved and chipper through most of the day, and they really soaked up what they were learning about the different animals we saw on the safari and in the more traditional “zoo” section of the park. Everyone’s favorites seemed to be the lions and the giant bugs. We saw cockroaches the size of credit cards, huge walking sticks and all sorts of big beetles and spiders. We saw a case for a “Haitian centipede”... more

Well, our trip to the San Diego Zoo turned out to be a trip to the San Diego Wild Animal Park instead. The lure of the 45-minute train ride was just too enticing, especially since we knew we’d be spending three days on our feet in the next couple of days! For those who haven’t been to the Wild Animal Park, there’s a “safari tour” to see the animals of different continents living out on the “savanna” rather than in cages. We saw Asian and African elephants, Mongolian horses, rhinos and all sorts of deer-like creatures whose names I can’t recall at the moment.... more

Yesterday, we took Lulu to a salon for African Americans and had her hair braided. We started with a trip to Sally’s to buy hair (the bargain of the day at $7 for three packages) and then the stylist started braiding around 11:00. She braided. And braided. And braided. We thought it would never end. The stylist told us we needed to leave Lulu there and just go do our thing, and I felt so badly about not being with her the whole time, but poor Lulu was there for over NINE hours! NINE! We came and went every couple of hours, bringing her lunch and treats... more

Hello from sunny San Diego! We made it here late Wednesday night with all of us arriving in surprisingly chipper moods, to boot. We got up at 4:30 in the morning, got the kids ready and loaded everything into the car, and then drove two hours to our closest large airport. In spite of some snowy conditions, we got there in plenty of time and found no line at the check-in, plus a very helpful and friendly sky cap. We made it through the security gate without being “selectees” – a first for us, at least in recent memory! We’ve been searched so many times... more

Again, my perceptions may be useless since I’m not a PBP, but the message that I get from a lot of the letters I’ve looked at is that they’re much more about the adoptive family than the placing family. Obviously, the letter is to introduce the PAP to the PBP, but I think that introduction can be made without it being quite so one-sided, and in a way that acknowledges what the PBP is going through, but not in a trite way. In a way that tells about your family in an interesting and unique way, but without relying on stereotypes. In a way that assures that you’d... more

Having spent the last couple of hours researching for this post, I’m left with a certain je ne sais quoi feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I sense that were I indeed a pregnant woman weighing adoption, I might be able to take these letters only in small doses and for short stretches at a time. Most of them tell me I’m an angel, thank me for choosing life for my baby, and thank me again for considering giving this precious gift. (Not sure how I feel about baby=gift mentality). After a while, the letters begin to run together. The people in them are... more

Before I get going with this entry, I want to make it clear right off the bat that I don’t believe any expectant parent who is merely considering an adoption plan should be referred to as a “birthparent.” I used the above title only because it is commonly used and lets you know immediately what this entry is about, but at the same time, I hope this post adequately explains why it might be best to avoid this type of address in a letter.

The letter that hopeful adoptive parents write to prospective birthparents is probably the most crucial part of... more

Speaking of unwanted attention, there’s the air travel portion of our trip that is giving me pause. We’ve flown with six, but never with nine, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a tad apprehensive about it. I was able to pick seats on all but one leg of our flight, so we’ll be appealing to the sensibilities of strangers on that flight to allow us to sit together. I have a plan in case no one volunteers to move seats. It involves baby pinching. A crying kid ought to scare most people off, right?

In case you’re wondering, nine is the most... more

OK, I’ve been keeping a little secret that I’m bursting at the seams to share: we’re going to Disneyland!

“OK, that sounds fun,” you say, “but what does it have to do with adoption?”

Much, my friend. Much.

You see, it all started when we began planning a “family honeymoon” of sorts for after the arrival of our three newest kids. We knew better than to head off on some fabulously wonderful vacation a week or two after they showed up because, one, we were broke, two, the pesky diarrhea problem would have put a damper on things,... more

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We all feel like things are getting better already. He seems to be harassing the kids less and less often. Unfortunately, he still needs to test Mike almost daily. The other day he came home saying that everyone at school likes him but he's always in trouble at home. We pointed out that at school he doesn't pester people and always does what he's told! I think that actually made some sense to him.

We'll get through this together, although poor Mike is growing a great deal more gray hair and I have to issue death threats at least twice a week.... more