Tonight, I caught a bit of a CNN program which included a panel of three individuals who were weighing in on Angelina Jolie’s plans to adopt a little boy from Viet Nam. Since I missed the beginning, I’m not sure what “qualified” these people to debate Angelina’s family planning, nor do I know what aspects of her adoption they’d discussed prior to my tuning in – nevertheless, I got an earful. One of the panelists questioned how Angelina and Brad’s children could get enough attention when there were “so many” of them, and also commented that their 10-month-old... more

"Name-calling? I didn't mean anything!"

Often young children do not know the meaning of the words they use, but they do know that the words will get a reaction from the victim. Children need to learn that such language can hurt other people, and is as bad as throwing rocks. Children who yell a racist or other hurtful name in anger should be talked to right away. They must learn not to throw objects at or say hurtful words to other children. Children need to understand that they have made a mistake and have hurt someone.... more

As I’ve mulled over the ways I can handle this, I’ve sought help from several sources.

First, I turned to friends with multiracial families. Some offered advice, and some merely offered their sympathies, but all offered the comfort that comes from interacting with those who’ve endured the same sorts of trials.

Second, I turned to the scriptures. Even though I know that my sweet girl is a beloved daughter of God, and equal and deserving and precious in His sight, it is helpful for me to see this Truth in writing as I read the words of the Lord:

Acts... more

I couldn’t write about this yesterday because I was feeling very emotional and far from objective. Today, however, I’m going to tackle this, and hope that it will be of benefit to those of you who have or will encounter racism.

Although as a parent to children of color I expect - and try to be prepared for - racism, this was our first experience with a blatantly racist comment being directed at one of our children. (Far more common are the “what beautiful almond eyes” and “they have such interesting hair” varieties.) Yesterday afternoon, my oldest son Joshua... more

I’ve become a pro at dossier assembly, and I think I could easily get everything done in two months (minus our I171H, which may or may not show up in that timeframe). But even though it goes against my nature, I think I need to take it slow so I don’t risk having documents expiring during our wait. We also don’t want a referral too soon, because we want to make sure we have at least a year between our Haitian kids’ arrival and the new child’s first appearance.

Once I get our dossier off, I’ll be researching our plans to (hopefully) make a side trip... more

I haven’t mentioned our current adoption much over the last couple of month because, well, there hasn’t been much to mention! Other than having our first of three homestudy visits, there’s been little movement. Our agency has one of the more popular and stable Ethiopia programs, and therefore has one of the longest waits. We were instructed when we applied that it would be a few months before we could really even get going on our dossier, and this was fine with us since it was only October when our three new Haitian kids came home.

The other day,... more

In addition to this miraculous blessing, we began to see Cora blossom, even after spending just shy of a week with her. By the time we left, she could hold her bottle momentarily, could pick up and feed herself Cheerios, could copy some of our vocalizations, and was showing an interest in toys. Looking back, I think it was a blessing that we didn’t get to see Cora on our first Haiti trip, prior to committing to her, because the delays might have scared us off then. The way things happened ensured that she would make her little way into our hearts and lives.

Since Cora came home in October of last year, she has continued to make amazing strides. When she reached us, she could crawl... more

Once we got to the hotel and spent some time with her, we began to see that she was a happy, delightful baby girl. But we also discovered that at 13 months, she was VERY delayed, not able to bear weight on her legs, hold her own bottle, eat solid foods, transfer objects from one hand to another, or engage in any sort of appropriate play. I began to panic. The low vision and nystagmus I’d been prepared for, but not this. I started to balk. I began to question whether the decision to adopt her had really been inspired. Doubts crept into my mind about whether I could parent a child with so many needs, what her future would be like, heck, what OUR futures would be like! I began to think... more

As I said in my earlier posts, I knew a little about albinism because of my involvement in a discussion group for adoptive parents of Chinese children with special needs (our Sofie had a congenital heart defect, hence my membership in the group). There were many adoptive families in the group with children with albinism, and I’d caught enough bits and pieces of their discussions to know that people with it have low vision and needed to be careful in the sun. Once we got home from Haiti, I asked for pictures of the baby, but weeks went by and no pictures came. My husband and I prayed about what to do, and in the meantime, we finally got a single photo, taken from an odd angle, that showed... more

As I mentioned in my introductory posts about our family and adoption experiences, the idea of adopting from Haiti was something that just kind of fell into our laps. We’d been planning to adopt one or two children from Viet Nam, but through an interesting series of events, we found ourselves starting at our Lulu’s picture and accepting her referral as well as that of her newborn baby brother, whom we’d not yet seen. Shortly thereafter, we learned that they had a sister, roughly age three, who was part of the sibling group. This was a surprise to us, but after prayerful consideration, we decided to go ahead with our plans and adopt all three children. Not long after that, we received the... more