Before we adopted any children with special needs, I used to wonder what made families who did adopt them tick. I imagined they simply had bigger hearts than I did and were better people, or they were ignorant or even just gluttons for punishment. I’d read and hear people talk about the blessings of rearing children with disabilities but chalked it up to something people just “say,” because really, what else could they say? They had to try to put a positive spin on it, right?

I just didn’t get it.

Looking back, our hesitation about adopting a child with special needs boiled down to one word: fear. We were afraid. Afraid of the medical costs, the delays,... more

Anyway, this was darn frustrating to me. It’s unbelievable to me that someone who works in the Social Security office doesn’t know about the Child Citizenship Act. But even more than frustrating, it’s scary. Just because we know a child is a citizen doesn’t mean everyone will, and it’s important that we secure that tangible proof for each child.

For the last couple of years, issuance of the Certificate of Citizenship has become automatic for children entering the country on an IR-3 visa. As I’ve written about before, many Certificates are issued in the child’s original name, or version of the adoptive name not necessarily chosen by the family. Even though it’s maddening to have... more

Yesterday, I traveled as planned to our nearest Social Security office to apply for Social Security cards for our four newest children and to request a name change for our first adopted child, Maizie, whom we brought home from China in December of 2002.

When the woman behind the desk asked for proof of Maizie’s citizenship, I had her Maizie’s Certificate of Citizenship, which she unceremoniously refused. It turned out that the USCIS office who issued the Certificate had not filled in the certification portion at the bottom (it was signed and sealed, but with no dates or other information filled in), but I had never noticed. How I will get this fixed remains to be seen, but that’s... more

Additional resources:

The Genesis Group

From the website:

The Genesis Group was established to meet the needs of Black members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, many of whom were descendants of early pioneers, with the hope of reactivating those who had left the Church and of supporting new converts of African descent. It was established in 1971 under the direction of President Harold B. Lee with the assistance of Elders Gordon B. Hinckley,... more

2 Nephi 26:33 "...and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile."

Article of Faith Three

We believe that through the atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel. (emphasis mine)

“Sermons and Writings of Bruce R. McConkie”

"There are statements in our literature by the early Brethren that we have interpreted to mean that the Negroes... more

I can’t possibly do justice to all the different theories (and theories, they are) about curses and lineage and when and where and how the policy began, but I use the story of Abel’s murder and Cain’s subsequent punishment to illustrate that the “knowledge” some church members have on the subject of blacks and the gospel can be damaging to our children. I believe that even neutral and even well-intentioned comments, if doctrinally incorrect, are our responsibility to counter, just as we would any other adoption-related misconceptions. But we can’t educate others if we don’t first educate ourselves, and I sincerely hope that caucasian LDS parents will take this education seriously. At the... more

Another reason it’s a good idea for caucasian parents who hope to adopt transracially to have a handhold on race and church history is because social workers who are aware of the church’s past policy want to know how this will be handled with the child. “What priesthood ban?” is not a good response. If you are going to be a parent of a black child, you owe it to the child to educate yourself. Consider the experiences of one adoptive family:

I will never forget sitting across the desk from the guardian ad litem for my first son in her Milwaukee office. She was a polished, accomplished woman. She was black.... more

Since I was hired to create this blog, I’ve been wanting to tackle the difficult subject of race issues and the Church. In the beginning, it sounded like a logical topic to cover for an LDS adoption blog, knowing that many members adopt transracially. But each time I tried to start mentally composing something, it seemed just too emotionally and intellectually challenging.

I’ve been doing a little “research” over the last few weeks, and I suppose I’ve been trying to get my own bearings on “the facts” and how I feel about them before I write about something... more

Other perks include the fact that the sheriff's office keeps criminal record check forms on their hard drive with our names on them. Seriously. Our local McDonald's offered to do an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast to help us fundraise for our first adoption. Professionals (bank presidents, doctors and nurses, etc.) who have to write letters or complete forms for us know us personally and understand how important it is that we get those documents back quickly. Our needs aren't lost in a pile of papers, gathering dust, because a doctor doesn't know us from Adam.

On the flip side, the biggest drawback we've discovered is that it's impossible to keep adoption plans a secret. The... more

Last night my husband and I went out to for Chinese food and a movie with our friends J and D, who are adopting from Haiti. D is also our family doctor, and because he'd just completed our adoption physicals, he brought our notarized doctor letters for our Ethiopia dossier to the restaurant. I thanked him for being so prompt, tucked the envelope into my purse and didn't think about it much after that.

Last night when my husband and I pulled into the garage, I realized I no longer had the envelope. I looked all over the car and couldn't find it, so I figured I must have dropped it at the theater and would have to call them when they opened. I was pretty worried I'd never find... more